– PART 3 OF OUR BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH SERIES

So – you’ve already been unlucky and have been diagnosed with breast cancer once and managed to get through a treatment regime and beyond. Now people around you behave as if ‘everything’s back to normal”, yet for you, life will never be the same again and your inner monologue around any signs of it recurring can take over your life.

So how do you cope? Here’s what I’ve learned from living with it and being diagnosed a second time around.

1. Be honest with yourself about how you feel – yes there will be times when you don’t want to think about it but acknowledging how you actually feel about it is the first critical step in actively managing your natural fears whilst managing to get on and enjoy your life. It’s normal to feel fear, it’s normal to feel your reactions to everyday aches and pains are OTT.
2. Inform yourself – stay in control – understand your prognosis and what symptoms to look out for. You may feel better if you can rule out certain things and know they’re not related. Talk to your medical team so you know exactly what you should be looking out for and how to get in touch, should you need to do so. Remember it’s your body and you’re the expert who’s likely to notice any changes first. Don’t worry about feeling you’re making a fuss – it’s their job!
3. Don’t be afraid of talking to people about it – family and friends can be very supportive but only if they know what you’re feeling and facing. You don’t have to do this alone. There are also really supportive online chatrooms and forums where you can talk to other women going through the same thing and share experiences.
4. Remember that you know more now – think back to how little you may have known when you were first diagnosed with breast cancer. You’ve been through it and can use all that experience to help you now.
5. Explore self-care – you’ve been through a lot and it is time to put yourself first and look after yourself – make time, explore whatever might work for you – there are a number of charities, which continue to offer complementary therapies to women who’ve been through breast cancer. Have a look at what might work for you.
6. Explore coping strategies – what works for you? The one thing we all have is a greater understanding than most people of how precious life is. What will make you feel better? Try things. But know that it’s not you being a neurotic mess – this is normal and you’re not alone!

3 THINGS NOT TO SAY AND WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY INSTEAD.

Being diagnosed with breast cancer is possibly one of the worst things which happen to anyone. And those around us, even our closest friends and family find it very hard to know what to do and what to say. This sometimes means they say the wrong thing, not because they’re deliberately trying to hurt us or be unhelpful – but because it’s so outside their own experience – often they’re looking at it from their own perspective and worrying about not being supportive.

Instead, if you have a close friend or family member who’s received a cancer diagnosis. Remember – it’s not about you – it’s about them and making sure they know you care.

1. Acknowledge that something dreadful has happened to them.
Number one thing not to say is– you’ll be fine! You don’t know that and it’s not helpful. Just acknowledge that it is hard by saying so. “That’s so awful/shit for you. I’m so sorry.”
Equally – I know you’ll get through this – you’re really strong – they might not be feeling strong and you need to support them in showing emotion if that’s what they need.

2. Empathise – Above all, let them know you care, simply by saying so; “I’m here for you , I love you and I’m thinking of you.” Think of useful things you can do, such as giving them a healthy meal so they don’t have to cook, rather than bland offers of “Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

3. Take your lead from them – everyone reacts differently to a breast cancer diagnosis – the right way for them will be how they react. If they want to talk about – listen. If they don’t want to talk about it – let them know that’s fine and that if they ever do -you’re there to listen. Sometimes we just want a dose of normality!

Under no circumstances, talk about your neighbour, cousin, other friend – who had breast cancer and is now sky diving or whatever. Or use someone else or something you’ve read to tell them they’re going to be ok.

Above all – be there and listen.

Frontier’s Dr Chris Lee joined the 18th Annual Royal Marsden Breast Cancer Meeting on 3rd October last week, at the Royal College of Physicians, London. The meeting, which brings together leading experts in breast cancer care, amongst other topics, focused on Supportive care and survivorship – specifically looking at Managing treatment side effects (Dr Matthew Brown) and Surgical options for lymphoedema (Mr. Kelvin Ramsey).

Dr Lee explained, “What came out in our discussions, was the critical importance of embedding quality-of-life interventions at the same time as oncological treatment; such as;

• Early recognition and management with compression, skincare and exercise
• Manual Lymphatic drainage and physiotherapy
• Surgical options”.

Interestingly, Dr Oreste Gentilini (Milan) during the keynote, looked at reducing unnecessary axillary interventions such as lymph node removal, which would avoid patients risking the development of complications such as lymphoedema in the first place. Dr Gentilini reviewed several clinical trials ,which seemed to confirm that axillary clearance or lymph node removal, and even sentinel node biopsies, might be safely avoided.

In the Oncology update, Professor Nick Turner and Dr Michael Hubank explored how precision molecular testing has become part of routine care, effectively tailoring treatments to tumour biology.

Dr Lee summarised, “It was a good mix of practical guidance, cutting-edge science and at times, quite thoughtful debate!”

✨ DON’T FORGET TO CHECK YOURSELF ✨

If you’re lucky and haven’t been diagnosed with breast cancer – or if you’ve been through it and come out the other side – it’s still so important to keep an eye on your breast health.

But here’s the good news: there’s no strict technique you need to learn. Our experts (and guidelines worldwide) now reassure us that you don’t need to follow a complicated monthly “self-exam.” What matters most is simply getting to know what’s normal for you so that you notice when something change

SO, HOW DO YOU DO IT?

– There’s no single “correct” way. You might choose a moment that works for you – in the shower, while getting dressed, or even relaxing in the bath.
– The key is to notice your normal – the look and feel of your breasts.
– That way, if something changes, you will pick it up more quickly.

💡 Tip: Some people find it helpful to schedule a monthly reminder on their phone, just to build the habit.

WHAT CHANGES SHOULD I LOOK OUT FOR?

Even if you check regularly, not every lump will be easy to feel – sometimes tumours are hidden. That’s why it’s important to look out for a range of possible clues, including:

– A new lump or thickening in the breast or armpit
– A change in size, shape, or feel of the breast
– Skin changes (dimpling, puckering, redness, rash, or an “orange peel” texture)
– Nipple changes (turning in, new discharge, or bleeding)
– Persistent pain in one spot

If you notice any of these changes, book an appointment with your GP promptly. Most changes won’t be cancer, but it is always better to be safe.

BREAST AWARENESS – SIMPLE CODES TO REMEMBER

The UK’s Five-Point Code

1. Know what is normal for you
   2. Know what changes to look for
   3. Look and feel
   4. Report changes promptly
   5. Attend screening when invited

The AUK Initiative (Awareness, Understanding, Knowledge)

– Awareness → Be alert to your breast health
– Understanding → Know the signs and symptoms
– Knowledge → Feel confident to act quickly and attend screening

The Take-Home Message

🩷 You don’t need a strict exam routine.
🩷 You do need to know what feels right for your body.
🩷 If something changes, act quickly and see your GP.
🩷 And keep up with mammograms when you’re invited – they remain the best tool for early detection.

Early detection saves lives – so this October, make time for yourself.