Demystifying the fear of recurrence

– PART 3 OF OUR BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH SERIES

So – you’ve already been unlucky and have been diagnosed with breast cancer once and managed to get through a treatment regime and beyond. Now people around you behave as if ‘everything’s back to normal”, yet for you, life will never be the same again and your inner monologue around any signs of it recurring can take over your life.

So how do you cope? Here’s what I’ve learned from living with it and being diagnosed a second time around.

1. Be honest with yourself about how you feel – yes there will be times when you don’t want to think about it but acknowledging how you actually feel about it is the first critical step in actively managing your natural fears whilst managing to get on and enjoy your life. It’s normal to feel fear, it’s normal to feel your reactions to everyday aches and pains are OTT.
2. Inform yourself – stay in control – understand your prognosis and what symptoms to look out for. You may feel better if you can rule out certain things and know they’re not related. Talk to your medical team so you know exactly what you should be looking out for and how to get in touch, should you need to do so. Remember it’s your body and you’re the expert who’s likely to notice any changes first. Don’t worry about feeling you’re making a fuss – it’s their job!
3. Don’t be afraid of talking to people about it – family and friends can be very supportive but only if they know what you’re feeling and facing. You don’t have to do this alone. There are also really supportive online chatrooms and forums where you can talk to other women going through the same thing and share experiences.
4. Remember that you know more now – think back to how little you may have known when you were first diagnosed with breast cancer. You’ve been through it and can use all that experience to help you now.
5. Explore self-care – you’ve been through a lot and it is time to put yourself first and look after yourself – make time, explore whatever might work for you – there are a number of charities, which continue to offer complementary therapies to women who’ve been through breast cancer. Have a look at what might work for you.
6. Explore coping strategies – what works for you? The one thing we all have is a greater understanding than most people of how precious life is. What will make you feel better? Try things. But know that it’s not you being a neurotic mess – this is normal and you’re not alone!